Regina: Why were you talking to Janis Ian?
Cady: I don't know, I mean, she's so weird, she just, you know, came up to me and started talking to me about crack.
Regina: She's so pathetic. Let me tell you something about Janis Ian. We were best friends in middle school. I know, right? It's so embarrassing. I don't even... Whatever. So then in eighth grade, I started going out with my first boyfriend Kyle who was totally gorgeous but then he moved to Indiana, and Janis was like, weirdly jealous of him. Like, if I would blow her off to hang out with Kyle, she'd be like, "Why didn't you call me back?" And I'd be like, "Why are you so obsessed with me?" So then, for my birthday party, which was an all-girls pool party, I was like, "Janis, I can't invite you, because I think you're lesbian." I mean I couldn't have a lesbian at my party. There were gonna be girls there in their *bathing suits*. I mean, right? She was a LESBIAN. So then her mom called my mom and started yelling at her, it was so retarded. And then she dropped out of school because no one would talk to her, and she came back in the fall for high school, all of her hair was cut off and she was totally weird, and now I guess she's on crack.
Cady: Who are the Plastics?
Damian: They're teen royalty. If North Shore was Us Weekly, they'd always be on the cover.
Janice: Regina George. How do I even begin to explain Regina George...
Some fat girl who eats her feelings: Regina George is flawless.
One of the unfriendly black hotties: She has two Fendi purses and a silver Lexus.
One of the Asian Nerds: I hear her hair is insured for $10,000.
One of the Burnouts: I heard she does car commercials. IN JAPAN.
One of the athletic girls: Her favorite movie is Varsity Blues.
Some midget girl: One time she met John Stamos on a plane.
The girl in the wheelchair: And he told her she was pretty.
The girl with the wide set vagina: One time, she punched me in the face. IT WAS AWESOME.
Janice: You're a regulation hottie.
Damian: Own it.
Jason: Hey, we're doing a lunch time survey of new students. Can you answer a few questions?
Jason: Is your muffin buttered?
Jason: Would you like us to assign someone to butter your muffin?
Cady: My what?
Home schooled boy: And on the third day, God created the Remington bolt-action rifle, so that Man could fight the dinosaurs. And the homosexuals.
All of the home schooled boys: AMEN!
Don’t have sex, because you will get pregnant and die. Don’t have sex in the...– Coach Carr (via witharmsakimbo) (via erikavw) (via yourcrapsweak) (via raheelio432) I had no idea that this would get liked and reblogged so much from my personal tumblr. XD
She’s fabulous, but she’s evil.– Damian (referring to Regina George)
Grool… I meant to say cool and then I started to say great.– Cady Heron
That is so fetch!– Gretchen Weiners